#i really don't know how to describe what they're doing

[sad-wet-cat-hannibal]

(Essay incoming so I'm adding a read more)

I think you've said some good stuff here, and I too get annoyed or even angered by people using the term in a way that I interpret as flippant; but I'd like to add that as someone who frequently described distressing books and films as "traumatising", it turned out that that word was rather apt - because my intense response was caused by my trauma being triggered by those very same things, too often in ways that felt like reliving it.

Here's the kicker. I didn't know I *had* any trauma. All I knew was that engaging with these works made me feel distressed and disturbed as if I were personally traumatised by these things. Like they were real. Like they damaged me. Just from reading them or seeing them. They'd haunt me for weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years. Sometimes they gave me weird symptoms I couldn't explain. So, naturally, I was hyper-avoidant as fuck.

That intense sensitivity and hyper-avoidance, combined with my ignorance to the fact that my psyche was not experiencing these things from an untraumatised position, meant I thought that "intensely distressing/traumatising" was just the normal effect these things had - except lots of other people seemed oblivious, and even delighted in the exact same works. Sometimes none more so than the kind of motherfuckers who actually like traumatising people.

So I figured, as incomprehensible as it seemed, everyone else had to be either too numbed out/oblivious/naïve to realise how awful this shit was, or were actually big fans of bad things happening in real life.

Because if to me it felt too real, capable of destroying my peace of mind for weeks, then surely to some extent that must be the same for everyone else, right? (Obviously not, but I was younger and working with what limited knowledge I had.) From that logic it's really easy to buy into censorship, into propaganda that claims that the symptoms of a society with a dysfunctional approach to life are often born of the media that echoes them, rather than the other way round. It's real to you. It's your only explanation. (You don't want to feel like this. You don't want anyone to feel like this. It's inhumane.)

What I'm trying to say is that not everyone knows they're traumatised. I think as many as those who do, do not. Perhaps far more. And for those people, the only time they are able to touch on the truth of their half-veiled iceberg is when they tell you that The Bridge to Terabithia "traumatised" them.

(I know it "did" me.)

Telling them they're exaggerating, and misusing language that doesn't apply to them runs the very real risk of making it harder for them to treat their feelings with the consideration and weight they deserve, and enabling them to begin the process of unraveling their denial and tending their wounds. It runs the risk of reinforcing the (potentially forgotten or minimised) messaging they may have already received, during and after the trauma, that it doesn't matter. They're exaggerating. They're making things up. Other people have trauma, other people have it so much worse, other people suffer - but not you. Your account of your experience is unbelievable. Silly. You will not be seen or heard or understood, not by anyone else, and not by yourself...

Yet. Hopefully one day. But I think it often takes other people being willing to shine a light on the pain, and say, "Yeah, it's real. It's caused by things. You aren't alone and you aren't exaggerating."

I think the flippant watering down of the word is potentially very unhelpful too, but there's a section of society who want to push the narrative that the vast majority of people speaking seriously and from a place of relevant psycho-education about their trauma are just special snowflakes jumping on a trend. Maybe I shouldn't, but I feel wary of adding fuel to their fire by trying to gatekeep trauma. I don't know what the solution to these two conflicting uses of the word is, or if it's even possible to create a solution that doesn't simultaneously police the traumatised out of expressing their pain the only way they currently know how. Which would set back the whole thing of trying to help people... We get enough trauma olympics ingrained into everyone as it is.

Oh yeah!! Just remembered, Gabor Mate said in either his book from 2024 or an interview about it that he considers everyone to be traumatised, the question is simply one of degree (if I'm remembering correctly). So from that it may in fact be possible to argue that books and films can traumatise people, although perhaps not necessarily to the extent we might associate with PTSD or CPTSD.

I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?

I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.

Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | 11.5

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 0.8k

—chapter content/warnings: not much!! something a lil more tame lol, prob one of the 0.5s that takes place right after the chapter beforehand, i promise there is no ill intention behind what's happening here - they're both equally torn about everything as san's good friends/colleagues

namjoon: you got a minute to meet up today? sorry for the last minute request but it's kinda urgent.

jongho: sure. i'm wrapping up. can meet you in the next 15 mins?

namjoon: i'll come to you.

jongho: alright then, boss.

Jongho continues typing away at his desk, responding to all the emails that came in today while he was off doing interviews for the new open faculty role in the electrical engineering department. He makes a mental note to submit his review sheet for the first round of interviewees and to review the applications for the next round tomorrow. He doesn't realize how quick 15 minutes flies by until Namjoon is swinging his door open mid-email. He continues to type away, but his eyes shift to Namjoon's figure as he fixes his blazer and takes a seat with a loud sigh.

"Long day?" Jongho cracks a small smile, typing up the last few details before sending it off and shifting his attention to Namjoon in front of him.

"Kinda." He nods towards his computer. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt or delay you from leaving."

"All good. Didn't really have plans, anyway. What's up? You seem a little flustered."

"Well, catching Yunho, Iseul and San arguing in a conference room wasn't exactly on my agenda for today."

"What?" Jongho cocks his head back a bit in disbelief, brows tightly knitted together as he tries to make sense of what he just heard. San had been giving him a bit of the story here and there and knowing Iseul, he wasn't exactly surprised this is how things were playing out.

He's just not sure why Iseul thinks it's her business to air this all out.

"You tell me."

"As much as I would love to help, I honestly have no idea what's going on.”

"Jongho."

"What? You know how Iseul is. She somehow still thinks she has a grip on San even after they've divorced and gone through all of that. Can't stand her, if you ask me."

"You don't have to tell me twice. But, why? Why is this a thing right now?"

"Beats me." Jongho tries to brush it off even though he can see the look on Namjoon's face, his eyes trying to study him like a damn book. He hates being in the middle because as much as he loves and supports his bestfriend, he also has the utmost respect for Namjoon and knows the guy will always be on their side regardless.

"That's the first in a very long time that I've seen San react that way at the happy hour event."

"Okay, to be fair, the guy was getting super disrespectful. I think any of us would've reacted in one way or another."

"Right, I agree. But, I know there's a story behind it. I know his anger was fueled by something else." Jongho sees the way Namjoon is going about this. He's prying for the answers he already knows, but he needs the confirmation and Jongho can give him that. 

It's just a matter of when.

"What if it was just a bad day?"

"Okay, you know what?" Joon leans onto the arm rest of the chair and gives him a look. "I'm just gonna go headfirst with it." Jongho cocks a brow up. "Is there something going on with San and his rotation student? Y/N specifically." He sighs.

"I figured."

"No, you knew." Namjoon chuckles a bit.

"I don't know. I really can't tell you because I don't know anything." Jongho says he knows nothing when he knows everything.

"Jongho." Joon repeats.

"Joon, swear." He says, even though he tries to sit as still as possible. Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

It started gradually before it took off completely. Jongho knows about the last minute meetings San has had to take, Jongho has seen the subtle glances, the subtle actions, the mood changes when you're around. Jongho remembers seeing you slip out of his hotel room very early that morning during the NAS conference. Jongho remembers seeing the polaroid slightly tip out of the wallet case mid-breakfast and seeing a tiny slip of your face in his peripherals. San quickly adjusted the polaroid and continued on like nothing, wishing for the best with that one.

And he doesn't have to be told to know you've been over multiple times. All the calls that have gone curt and short, the distraction easily laced in San's voice on the other line. He remembers the faint trace of your perfume in his home, the little post-it notes you've left on San's office desk.

Good thing Namjoon can't read his mind right now.

Cause, yes.

"I can hear your thoughts."

Well, shit.

"I don't know what to say."

"I need you to tell me yes or no, that's all. I need to make sure I'm going about this correctly even though I heard a lot today alone." Jongho sighs and sees how torn Namjoon is. They both are. They obviously want what's best for San, and they both want him to be happy. He is deserving of good, genuine love. He is deserving of genuine happiness because he always rides for the people he loves, goes the extra mile for them. He acknowledges and learns from his mistakes, he apologizes when he knows he's at fault.

He's deserving of all good.

So, they both hate that it has to come to this because it's not even you that's the problem. It's the situation, and they both don't know how to approach it with enough sensitivity and care.

Even though it's good to San, it doesn't necessarily mean it could be good for San.

"Yes."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[11queensupreme11]

Anyway, so how mad do you think the ror gods and humans would be when they see Luke betrayal and all that ? The yandere love intrest plus platonic posideon?

(they messaged me saying they didn't mean to add the platonic poseidon part so i won't talk about that!)

(also! reminder that this is about tv show!luke, not book luke!!!!)

i'm gonna try and fit as many characters i can here lmao wish me luck, i'll start with the yans first

cú chulainn: i already vaguely spoke about this, but he canonically wants to dethrone zeus and he's described to be ambitious. he would SOOOOOO look down on luke (more so than even the GODS would, which says a LOT cuz gods look down on everything). luke wants a revolution and to get rid of the gods because of all their wrongdoing?? great! wonderful! he'll be nodding in approval....... until he finds out luke's doing it by trying to bring kronos into power 💀 he'd be like "smh ur not a TRUE hater 😒🖕" because to him, you should seize that power yourself, not give it to another deity!!!! don't even get him started on when luke hurts percy, that'd just be another reason to loathe him cuz how DARE you???? only he can be a meanie to her! 💀

poseidon: dear gods, he would torture this boy if he was in the pjo universe 💀 trying to bring back his alternate father is one thing, trying to RECRUIT his daughter into his pitiful attempt of a revolution is another, BUT TO HARM HIS DAUGHTER????? luke is very very VERY lucky that he's already dead in elysium and in a whole other universe

hades: he would be furious as well!!!!!!! he doesn't know what pjo!kronos is like, but if he's just as bad as his father, then he wouldn't want ANY version of him back! he was a smidgeon bit sympathetic to luke's cause and can understand why he was doing this, and he can see that kronos really was the only way to take down the gods, but he just hates his father soooo much so his sympathies can only go so far. plus, this boy betrayed his innocent niece-wife! the poor girl genuinely saw him as a friend! a big brother figure even! and he goes and tries to brainwash her and then attacks her for mentioning hermes!

apollo: hated luke early on because of how close he was to percy (same for the other yans tbh), but now he has an even better reason to hate him: he hurt and betrayed her! his poor darling cousin, he just wants to give her a hug 🥺 he knows what it's like to be betrayed, he could totally punish the mortal for her if she wants (she doesn't, but he's not listening at that point). he's great at punishing traitors! just ask cassandra! 🤗

beelzebub: ahhhhh NOW he understands why percy got so sad when she showed him luke's picture in her album. but ANYWAY, best believe he's seething with rage at this. yes, he can tell that luke had been blinded by his anger when he attacked her, but he doesn't care. he's one of the most overprotective yans EVER, he does NOT want any harm coming to percy at all. to him, any threats, no matter how minor, must be ELIMINATED. because small threats can turn into bigger ones and he's (as always) proven correct as the books go on

loki: he was already screaming "KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM!" when luke shows up and starts bonding with percy, but this was solely out of jealousy. but now that luke's hurt her? he's gonna go feral and actually try to jump the screen 😂 thor and odin would have to hold him back lmao

anubis: will be right next to loki screaming "KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM!" while ra tries to hold him back and kebi's cheering for her daddy in the background 😭😭😭 he was already pouty and sulky when he saw luke and percy get close (their bond is STRICTLY platonic, but the yans don't see that. any male + percy = BAD 💀), but now that he's hurt her mentally and physically, he wants the boy dead.

NOW ONTO THE REST!!!!!

mnemosyne: already saw this coming cuz she saw it in percy's memories, but they're strictly in percy's POV, not as an outsider pov. so now she gets the chance to see it as an outsider pov and her nonexistent heart lowkey breaks when she sees percy's look of devastation when she realizes she accidentally hurt luke (her fatal flaw of loyalty is showing her) and how luke's own fatal flaw (wrath) rears his ugly head and makes him attack her when hermes is mentioned. she doesn't care much for luke, but she knows that percy does and that his loss definitely impacted her

adam: he feels so terrible for all these kids. he can tell that luke's been brought to the brink of desperation, and that kronos was literally the only way, but he's also the WORST possible choice. and now he's forced to watch these two kids battle it out. the gods in that universe must really be cruel....

kebechet: since she's in her child form while watching this, she doesn't really understand what's happening that much. all she knows is that a bad guy lied to mommy and hit her, and it made mommy sad! so she'll be tugging at her daddy's arm and begging him to make mommy feel better and take the bad guy away 🥺

ra: first off, luke's an idiot. second off, percy is way too trusting and she needs to stop hesitating to kill mortals/other demigods. the camp's done too much damage instilling heroic morals on these demigods, when they should've focused on making them more divine, that way they'd make more logical callous choices obviously 🙄 percy is too naive, pjo!poseidon never should've let her in the camp and should've just raised her but nooooo let her be a hero and get herself killed like every other demigod in that universe. good idea 😒😒😒😒 best way to raise a kid smh

prometheus: okay now he knows he said that he's a staunch supporter on letting humans make mistakes but bringing back kronos?????????????? are you sure about that luke???????????????????? 😭😭😭 this is probably the ONE MISTAKE he cannot let slide 😭 he does NOT like his grandpa kronos 😭😭😭😭 also pls leave his baby cousin out of this mess, she's got enough on her plate!!!! yes the gods are shit, BUT KEEP HER AWAY FROM KRONOS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

sun wukong: "this kid's a dumbass" 💀

rhea: omfg she would slap the shit out of luke so hard jashfjkdfvgdjhasdfajsh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 summon a gigantic ass slipper to slap the shit outta him fr 💀 YOUR PLAN IS TO BRING BACK HER ALT!HUSBAND????????? WHO IS WORSE THAN THE GODS???????? in the pjo universe, kronos was so paranoid that he'd be usurped that he ATE HIS OWN CHILDREN and you wanna bring him BACK???????????????? she'd be shrieking at the screen for him to stay away from percy, that man is a DANGER to her life if his solution is KRONOS

[miyakazashi]

Link Click Bridon Arc Episode 5

Thoughts on the dinner scene

Oh dear... Oh my goodness...

Omg😭😭😭 Cheng Xiaoshi's wayyyy too gullible 😭😭🤣🤣 what do you mean he really thinks "you look tasty" is an authentic Bridon greeting😭😭😭 he doesn't understand English and just somehow adapts the weirdest thing Vein has ever said since his debut😭😭😭😭 and Vein looks so proud of himself- I can't- I'm crying I love them so much-

But they're adorable🥺🥺 like, they've only met twice where did this secret handshake come from- you know what, continue on, I'm not gonna stop this mess. I love it.

Xia Fei is literally me when I saw this😆 Lu guang has clearly had enough😆😆😆

Uhmmmm.....I’m not sure that’s the usual way people describe meat...uhm... Vein...?

Nevermind- he's adorable- everythings fine- everythings all under control, let's all just ignore what he said seconds before...okay ??

"Heh..."

No words just 😶🫢 don't say that with that expression, the fans are gonna misunderstand and I know it-

Overall Thoughts

1. Can I say I literally almost screamed when I saw the Chinese traditional round table, like omg...!!!

2. Vein calls Xia Fei by his English name Felix, saw some people asking on Twitter just a few days ago, didn't think we'd get the answer this soon though

3. Guess we can add one more clue to the latest right hand left hand theory, chopsticks on the right

4. I don't know how I feel about the "tender as your flesh" line, it's honestly kinda unsettling, like...I don't think it's a joke anymore guys... Even if it is just a Vein is eccentric thing- I don't know 😥😥

[pockypuck]

"No--you--what have you done?!" they gasp, clutching the table like a lifeline.

I shake my head a little, wiping my mouth of the last few drops and giving an incredulous grimace. "A celestial shot, from the taste of it." Ooh, tingly.

"You mixed them," they say, anguished enough to state the obvious.

I raise my eyebrows, flexing my fingers a little as the capillaries start to throb with my quickening pulse. "Of course I did. You offered me both, and then added a false dichotomy."

"False--what?"

"False dichotomy. Presenting two options as the only choices when there are others available."

"I know what a--do--do you have any idea what you've begun?!" They’re sweating quite profusely for an extraplanar being, the collar of their shirt losing its starch and their silvery hair dampening against their brow.

I shrug. "Something interesting, from your reaction. I expect I'll find out shortly." Oh yeah, very shortly. I can already feel my eyes starting to water and sharpen at the same time. "At least I won't die, though."

"Y--" They go even paler, somehow, staring at me with wide eyes and such distress that the air around them is vibrating. I grin at them with lots of teeth.

"Yeah, figured on that. Celestial essence doesn't mix with human life too well, does it? Too rigidly aligned, one way or another. Most people's systems can't handle it. They run hot for a few months, get all those cool powers, then burn out like an overclocked CPU. Nice try, though." I lick my lips, trying to identify the flavor left behind. Sea salt and chocolate from the mocha, I figure, and something that I can only describe as spite. What I get for mixing it in a Starbucks cup, I guess.

They're still stuttering, eyes now tracing along the outline of my shoulders as if watching for weapons. "But--how did--?"

"How did I know to mix them?" It's not a guess. I'm starting to feel the questions on my skin before they ask them. "Simple. They're the same thing."

Their face twists in revulsion. Heh, they didn't like that.

"Mostly," I amend. "Demons are just angels with defiance mixed in, after all. The base is the same. But mixing god-ordained defiance--" they twitch hard "--with absolute obedience was either going to explode immediately or cancel each other out." I sit back and cross my arms, feeling the proteins in my muscles start to fold and twist into energy the likes of which the world hadn’t seen in millennia. "So I tested it."

"This is--you can't," they rasp, but not as if they believe it. No, it sounds as though their belief is very fragile right now. "You can't be."

"I mean, it turns out that I very much can." I spread my arms, my fingers. It takes very little effort to add a few, subtract them, change them to claws, wrap air and fire and time around them. I keep it short; there are people in this cafe, even if they can't notice us right now. "And really, I should thank you. If you hadn't given me both at once, I couldn't have pulled it off. So this," I gesture to all of me, the shifting skin and brightening eyes and power beginning to radiate in waves, "is all your fault."

They inhale with a shudder, and then their eyes narrow. "Then you are my--my responsibility, and I will--"

"I don't think so," I say sharply, my hand clenching. The energy gathering at their fingertips cuts off as if it's never been. They're pallid again. "See, you might be able to hop planes all you want, but this is my home. Some fancy potion can't change that. God can't change that, if He even wants to. And now you're in my home, and you're no longer the biggest thing here." I stand up, and they're not visible but I can feel them at my back, long feathered wings with bones like steel and little clawed tips flexing and shivering with barely-contained power. "So you can get the fuck out of my home with your mind games and your holy war. And if you come back--if any of you come back--I will know, and I will make you regret it."

It's so easy. I reach for their pale, panicked face, and they're gone. Not sure where, but it's not like I care about the details right now.

I sigh, look around, and settle my power back beneath my skin with effort. The people around me continue to get their coffee and croissants without any indication that something extraordinary has happened.

That's good. Nephilim don't have the best reputations. I can change that, though. I can make our home a better place, and Heaven and Hell had better watch their step.

"In the first vial there is a pure demonic essence, and in the second there is pure angelic essence-" Without letting them finish, you mix both vials and drink the mixture.

[writingdevil]

Hii! Hewwo!!! Finally got the courage and an idea to get here haha. First of all I wanted to thank you for Tongues and Teeth. Like, really, big thanks. This fic got me through a pretty bad illness, and I found myself waiting for every new chapter. And, well, of course, it was an indirect reason for me even being here... I really enjoyed reacting on your fic in tags, and that, in fact, gave me the courage and impuls to post my own stuff. As for a prompt... Slay the Princess is happening at night, but rarely someone appreciated the stars. But they still were there. And in post-Tongues and Teeth they are there, too. I just thought it would be interesting to touch some voices' feelings and opinions when they are just stargazing. It could be about any voice really, or any group of voices, maybe you'll even explore them all - I would love to see it anyway :> Have a great day!!!

(Oh my God,you're so sweet!Thank you for liking my fic that much-I never expected people to actually be invested in my story.I'm really sorry that you were going through that illness,but I'm so touched that my story helped you get through it.I always love seeing your reaction to my fics-it's one of the things I look forward too!I love your idea and I hope you enjoy this,and that you have an amazing day!)

(This is post Tongues and Teeth)

It wasn't often that Contrarian liked to be still.He much preferred to be doing something that pissed one of the others-mainly Oppy-off.He liked keeping everyone on their toes,not knowing what he was about to do next-and no,he's definitely still not bitter from Oppy calling him predictable.Why would you think that?

But tonight,Contrarian was honestly happy to just relax with his flock,and stargaze with them all.

He couldn't remember who's idea it had been, probably one of the softer ones like Hero or Smitten,but eventually they all found themselves sitting out on the roofs of their bird houses at night, gazing up at the stars.

Contrarian never noticed how pretty the night sky was.Or did he ever even get the chance to,back in the Construct?Either way,it was nice to just chill out,take it easy,and look up at the stars-

"I don't see the appeal of this."

Well,not everyone felt the same way.

Contrarian chuckled,looking down at Cold,who was lying on his back and staring up at the sky in boredom.Cold hadn't seen the point in stargazing, but had still allowed Contrarian to drag him up here,and he had been silent ever since.

Contrarian had a feeling that Cold wouldn't particularly like this one activity,even if everyone had come out.He leaned back on his hands and asked,"No?You don't think the stars are interesting and cool to look at?"

"They're lights in the sky."

"Yeah,but do you think they're pretty?"Cold hummed in thought,before looking away as he replied,"You could certainly call them mesmerizing, if you were poetic enough."Contrarian snorted, knowing for a fact that Smitten has definitely described the stars as exactly that before.

"Mesmerizing doesn't equal interesting though," Cold quickly added,and Contrarian sighed,sitting up properly to tuck his knees under his chin."Yeah,I thought you'd say that,"he said,hoping to hide his disappointment in his voice.

He wasn't sure if Cold caught it or not,but he shrugged and looked back up at the sky."It was nice for a few minutes,but it doesn't make me feel much."

"Well not everything has to be about feeling something grand and overwhelming."He caught the flash of surprise on Cold's face,and then Contrarian's smile fell into a regretful frown.

This felt like a weird conversation to have,especially considering that himself and Cold were the known mischief makers of the flock.Contrarian just liked to do things that were fun,and his realm of fun had gotten a whole lot bigger now that they had their own bodies.

Cold was in that same boat,in which he could freely got out and find things to do that could potentially get rid of that numbness in his chest.The two of them spent most of their days discovering every fun thing that they couldn't before,not with that annoying Echo keeping them trapped.

He glanced back down at Cold,only to find him staring up at the sky with an empty look in his eyes. To anyone else,you would think that that was just Cold's natural expression,but Contrarian's been around him long enough to pick up the slight bitterness in his eyes,and he immediately felt bad.

He knew Cold had trouble with going about life without wanting something to make him feel something.He knew that in some ways-getting their own bodies had been harder to achieve that, because now Cold was responsible for everything that his body did.

What he chose to do,to hear,to experience,was all up to him,and sometimes his body and mind couldn't handle it.But the only reason it was difficult,was because the Decider wasn't here anymore.It was easier to want to feel something new,and block out anything that he deemed unimportant,when the situation involved whether to slay another person or not,and the horrifying consequences of it-all while hiding behind another greater being.

Contrarian sighed,then looked around at the other houses near them,and said,"I know this isn't your usual brand of fun and excitement."Cold just hummed in response,still not looking at him."But I think taking a moment to chill and relax is nice too."

"Easy for you to say,"Cold said,"you can be entertained by anything,and boredom can be easily fixed.You're not as...rigid as I am."Contrarian shrugged,looking back up at the stars."You never know until you try."

Cold huffed in quiet amusement,and Contrarian watched as his wings twitched and spread out and in-a surefire way to tell that Cold was getting restless,and was about to leave.

But Contrarian didn't want him to go.He wanted to be able to enjoy the loud and the quiet moments with Cold,without Cold feeling like it was pointless.

So he squinted up at the starry sky,until he grinned playfully,scooting closer and leaning down to whisper into Cold's ear.He pointed up at the sky and quietly said,"You know,if you squint,you can kinda see Skeptic's grumpy face in the sky."

Cold was confused for a few seconds,before he chuckled lightly,and Contrarian grinned in victory. Cold now had a soft smile on his face as he gazed up at the sky."You'll turn anything into a joke,won't you?"

Contrarian giggled,leaning away from the other bird now."Yeah,why not?Nothing's fun if everything's so serious all the time."

"But eventually even clowns get tired at telling jokes all the time."

Contrarian froze at Cold's empty words,before quickly turning to face him,and his heart twisted in guilt-something that didn't happen a lot,at the subtle sad look on Cold's face.

He thought Contrarian was getting bored of his own ways?He thought that stargazing meant that he was getting dull?

Contrarian would be offended if he didn't think this wasn't deeply hurting Cold,no matter how much the icy one would try to deny it.He thought that he was losing the one flockmate that could understand the way he thought and operated, leaving him an outcast in his own flock.

That wouldn't do.

Contrarian sighed loudly,then casually threw an arm over Cold's shoulders,which meant that his body was half bent down to even manage that,and even then,his arm was actually just circling the top of Cold's head.

He stayed in that position for a few minutes,until Cold eventually asked,"What are you doing?"

"I'm just-taking the moment in."

There was a small pause,before Cold then asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well,"Contrarian began,"it's such a nice night out, and it's rare that we're all doing something that isn't eating or having a meeting.I just wanted to take this moment in."

"Why would you bother with 'taking it in'?You could have moments like these all the time,and they'll just replace the last memory."

"Yeah,"Contrarian agreed,"but nothings gonna beat the first time you went stargazing with your whole flock." There was a fondness in Contrarian's voice that had Cold looking up at him curiously,but Contrarian took that moment to look up and around at the rest of his flock.

"There's just something-special,about moments like these,and it makes you want to stay there for as long as possible."

Contrarian's gaze went straight to Hero,who was giggling as he watched Hunted preen Stubborn's wings,and the preening appeared to be making Stubborn sleepy,to the point that he was struggling to keep his eyes open while laying on his chest. Hero smiled at them fondly,and started to pet the feathers on Stubborn's head.

Contrarian smiled at the sight,then his gaze drifted to the far left of them,where Smitten and Skeptic seemed to be utterly transfixed by the display of stars in the sky.Contrarian watched as Smitten excitedly pointed up at the sky,blurting out what was sure to be some sappy,poetic mess,looking over at Skeptic with pure glee in his eyes.

Skeptic actually looked quite calm and relaxed in this moment,matching Smitten's passion with a more calmer enthusiasm,gesturing up at the night sky and talking just as much as his counterpart was.

It was funny to imagine the conversation they must be having-a mix of lovey-dovey mush and innocent curiosity-but it also sounded very sweet.

"What's the point of dragging out something special?"Cold asked,"It's just going to make the moment boring more quickly."Contrarian made a noise of uncertainty."I don't think so.There's always something interesting to pick out."

He glanced over at their right,where Paranoid and Oppy were huddled close,talking quietly to themselves-probably the most unexpected and fascinating friendship to come out of this whole thing.

Paranoid-or Jitters,as Oppy loved to call him-was hugging himself for comfort,and had an anxious look in his eye as he spoke to Oppy,who was giving him his full attention,completely ignoring the illuminating sky above them.

Then Oppy smiled,in a way that Contrarian knew was hard for the other to easily do without fear,and softly draped his wing around Paranoid's shoulders, who's tense body instantly melted at the gesture, face wiped clean of stress,as he instead smiled and gave Oppy a grateful look.

Contrarian's attention was quickly snatched by the duo not too far away from them-Broken and Cheated.Broken had tucked his knees under his chin and looked to be in complete awe at the stars above him,and Contrarian wondered if he had found a new love to worship and submit to.

But then he saw the way that Cheated's attention was in no way on the stars-but instead on Broken. He was resting his arm on his knee,his cheek in his hand,and he had the most fond and lovestruck look that Contrarian has ever seen-that he truly believed that Cheated could give Smitten a run for his money.

He giggled and finally looked back down at Cold, who didn't seem so upset anymore,but instead was struggling to understand Contrarian's words."I don't get it,"he finally admitted,and Contrarian made a quick,sweeping gesture at their flock and said,"I'm just saying that-maybe this moment isn't for right now."

"What?"

Contrarian sat up properly again,and Cold was quick to copy him,determined to understand. Contrarian looked back up at the twinkling stars and said,"Maybe this moment is purely to look back on,to remember the soft times that made you happy.Maybe-maybe these are moments to make you feel warm in the future,whatever that may be."

Contrarian quickly glanced at Cold,suddenly feeling embarrassed at having talked so much without it sounding like a joke."I-I just like the thought of that as well.At being able to sit still,and still have good memories to look back on,with the rest of you weirdos."

He refused to look back at Cold,just waiting for the other to poke fun at or dismiss what he said.He couldn't decide what would be worse.

But then Cold hummed softly,scooting closer to nudge him with his wing."I suppose,"he quietly said, and Contrarian risked a quick look,"that you can sort of see Skeptic's grumpy face."

Contrarian froze,before he burst out laughing,and he even heard Cold's light laughter join in.

It ended being a perfect memory for Contrarian to cherish forever.

[funnier-as-a-system]

hello there. i am going to remain off of anon for the sake of getting the notification that this was answered.

i am questioning whether or not i am a system. i don’t experience many of the things that my one plural friend(friends?) has asked me if i experience, but i’m not sure if that can actually help me since it’s just one system’s experiences.

i am asking for help in figuring this out. i don’t think i have DID, but i’ve heard that there are other kinds of systems. i have also heard that endogenic systems are harmful to the plural community…? i’m not 100% sure why that would be though.

some of my experiences include: scratches, cuts, bruises, etc that i cannot explain; feeling like i wasn’t at a place that i was supposedly at for a majority of the day (e.g school or work); feeling like i have no memories of my own life, so bad that i can’t remember basic things such as if i took my daily meds or not (even if it was only a few minutes ago); hearing random voices in my head that don’t sound like my own; and so much more that i won’t name here.

i feel like it’s not me being a system, but i honestly have no idea. if you could help me out, that’d be much appreciated. thanks for reading this, and i hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

I'll address your primary concern in a moment, but first I want to clear something up: endogenic systems are not harmful to the plural community. "Endogenic" just means that a system was not formed due to trauma, nothing more. Exclusionists claim that endogenic systems are "harmful", "fake", or "impossible", but there is nothing substantial behind these claims; not only do endogenic systems have a basis in many cultural, spiritual, and religious practices, but many scientists who study plurality, dissociation, and/or dissociative disorders affirm or are open to the existence of endogenic systems. The majority of endogenic systems are kind, well-meaning people like anyone else, and are not out to trick others or spread misinformation (which is another common accusation against endogenic systems). They're just systems whose plurality does not originate from trauma, living their lives and sharing their stories. You're right to be suspicious of that claim you heard, because it's just needless exclusionism that most often arises from hurt people lashing out at a perceived "enemy" to feel some semblance of control, power, or justice in their life. It's a shame, really. I've met so many kind and friendly endogenic systems here on Tumblr and other places, and the plural community has always been an inclusive community!

Onto the rest of your ask.

I'm not sure what questions your friend asked, but based on your experiences, DID doesn't sound too unlikely – especially with how you describe your memory issues. However, I may have to refer you to seeing a psychiatrist or other professional about this. Even if it's not DID, these things sound like they're causing you problems that would be best handled by a professional that knows you personally. DID can be difficult to identify from the individual's perspective, which may explain why you don't feel you have DID, but I am not able to diagnose you – it's just that the things you say remind me of what I and other people with DID experience. I'd recommend seeing someone who specializes in dissociative (and possibly psychotic) disorders to see what can be done to help with the everyday issues and memory problems you're experiencing, or to at least get some answers. Bring a list of these things with you and let them know you're here to get some answers; you can tell them, "Someone I talked to said this sounded like DID, but told me I should see someone to check." ("this" being the list of events/experiences you share with them). Professionals can be hit-or-miss when it comes to these things, but in this case I think that might be the best course of action.

In the meantime, there are plenty of different kinds of systems you can learn about by looking around the community, or specific subcommunities. There's created systems, adaptive systems, spontaneous systems; multiple systems, median systems; polyconscious systems, monoconscious systems; dæmonism or tulpamancy practitioners; there are lots of different terms that people have coined to make sense of their plurality and find people like them. There's essays, articles, blog posts, zines, books, visual artworks, videos, and more. There's forums, Discord servers, Tumblr communities, Reddit subreddits, YouTube channels, Twitch channels, and more. Really, if I went on listing examples, we'd be here forever! The variety of the plural community is one of the things I love about it. Look around for what you like or what interests you, don't feel pressured to relate to or perfectly understand everything, and feel free to lurk if you don't feel like putting yourself out there.

You're right, it can be difficult to figure things out based on one system's experiences. I, too, am just one system, so I encourage you to explore at your own pace and seek a professional opinion when you're ready (and if you think it's necessary). I hope you have a wonderful day/night, too!

[sinnabarmoth]

what kind of deres r the guys (+ explain?)

This is where being an anime nerd is finally helpful! (BTW some of these dere types usually are associated strictly with only women but I feel that is limiting so everything is unisex!)

Zayne: The best fit I could think of for Zayne is a Rindere. Rinderes are described as being this really reserved, dignified, and mature person who has a kind of cool and distant attitude. People look up to them because they're super calm most of the time but they do act more outwardly loving when with their love interest. And if that does not perfectly describe Zayne I don't know what does! Zayne is a very mature personality and he is always trying to be very dignified when talking to people. The only person he ever seems to show a more emotional side to is MC, even if he starts treating her cooly at the beginning he opens up more as the story goes on and has a playful personality in memories.

Xavier: I was actually stuck between w for Xavier. My initial reaction was to classify him as a Nemuidere. Nemuidere are people who are just super sleepy and only care about sleeping, their love interest is like the only person that can wake them up and keep them awake. It was just too perfect not to at least mention it for our chronically sleep guy. But if I had to pick a more serious one I'd go with a Dandere who are said to be very quiet and stoic characters who only come out of their shells and act more talkative and cute when with their love interest. Which given how in Xavier's anecdotes and stuff he's described as not being very social and keeping to himself a lot of the time also works for him.

Rafayel: I feel like I'm shitting on him a little bit but Rafayel is a Shundere. A shundere is known for being very sad when their love interest does not pay attention to them. Full on pouty and lost baby boy. They do not want to be alone and will give their love interest a very sad cute face to guilt them into staying with them. That's Rafayel to a tee! This man got upset when you didn't come visit him in the hospital sooner to the point he pretended to have amnesia because of it. He checked himself into the hospital over a sprained ankle just for the drama of it. He's also been waiting hundreds of years to be with MC again so yeah, he's gonna be really sad when not with his love interest.

Sylus: Sylus was actually really hard to place but in the end I had to go with my gut. Sylus is a freaking Smugdere if there ever was one. Like the name suggests smugderes are super cocky, they love teasing their love interests, and they have a signature smirk that they flash at their love interest just to get a rise out of them. They act super composed while teasing them and are more joking and sarcastic about it than actually feeling some kind of superiority or entitlement. Look me in my eyes and tell me that isn't Sylus. Sylus loves teasing MC and keeps up his composure while doing so but I feel like it is done out of humor rather than any kind of actual malice.

Yizhou: I simply do not know enough about this man to give him anything other than Osadere. Osaderes are the childhood friend who either always loved their love interest or grew up and realized they were in love with them. Yizhou gives me big, they were always in love with MC vibes but didn't say anything because he didn't want to jeopardize their friendship in case she didn't return his feelings. I wish there was more for me to say but that's really all I got for the guy.

[tookishcombeferre]

Thanks for the tag @shychick-52

So, this, I've thought a lot about actually.

The whole Protector sublot both does and does not make sense to me. I've watched it all the way through twice now, and I really, really don't like it. (Personally.)

My personal issues with the Protector subplot are as follows:

I dislike the fact that it encourages secret keeping from trusted adults (Mom, Dad, Aunt Tilly, Mr. Cedric, etc.) which is something that the show actively states is wrong in the previous episode about Gnarly and the Fliegel. ("The Fliegel has Landed" is one of my top 5 episodes, right up there with "Substitute Cedric" in terms of life lessons taught and their importance.)

I dislike the fact that it makes all the adult characters feel really stupid and flat as characters. They have absolutely no, to use a DnD term, passive perception - apparently - because they never notice Sofia is missing. They're all completely incompetent, and it makes no sense.

I just have an absolute personal disdain for the way Sofia is treated by the Protectors. She is *not* a teenager. She is not a mini-adult. Sofia is 11 ... 11 and 1/2 at the most, and Chrysta treats her like she's a minimum of 15 or 16 and I hate it.

However, my primary issues, as a parent, are with points one and three.

Someone. I do not care who. From Sofia's initial trusted circle should be with her in the Mystic Isles. Mom. Dad. Cedric. Tilly. SOMEONE. (Who is not an animal.) Should be with her to supervise.

I know the show spends a lot of time establishing Minimus as a guardian of sorts. He's really protective. He's safety conscious ... HE'S A HORSE. A smart horse. But, he's a horse.

I cannot describe to you how WITH Miranda I am with every. single. word. that comes out of her mouth in the finale I am. But, I am. I am with Miranda 3,000%.

Trust me when I say Squish and I will be having a long talk in the next couple months about how Sofia made some BAD choices about not telling her family about Prisma AS SOON as she was encountered. Prisma should have been the FIRST thing Amber and Sofia were talking about at the dinner table, the first thing Sofia was talking to Cedric about the next time she visited the tower, and Baileywick should have been on HIGH ALERT for any sign of her. Period.

There is no way Sofia should have been keeping her Protector status from her parents and trusted inner circle. Nope! Nope, nope! Bad writing. Terrible writing! No thanks. Don't like it.

And, I suppose, if the Protectors actually treated Sofia like a child in school, someone who was *learning* how to adventure and not actively putting her in danger, it might not be so bad. But, the first thing Chrysta does is like basically feed Sofia to polar bears ... so like ... I don't exactly trust these people's judgement. Nor do I trust them with the life and emotional well being of an 11 to 12 year old kid.

(Again, I am speaking as a parent. Y'all are free to feel however you want about the Protectors, I just ... I hate them. I'm sorry. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I also had a lot of responsibility heaped on me by adults who I was supposed to trust at a young age so it just hits me in a sore spot? But, oooo I just cannot *stand* them. "Get this by sunset." "Save us Sofia, you're our only hope!" "You have to help us!" "We're basically minor gods, but we're helpless!" ICK! Major ick!)

And, before anyone asks the difference between the Protectors (specifically Chrysta) and Cedric?

He's actually useful! He actually teaches Sofia useful skills! What does Chrysta do other than complain about stuff and tell Sofia to do better without showing Sofia anything? SOFIA HAS TO TEACH CHRYSTA HOW TO TEACH!??! Like, what? Excuse me???? Huh??? What are we doing here? This is a show for children! Please, please, I am begging you! Let the adults have at least one competent bone in their body. It will not detract from having the child as your main character. I promise.

Meanwhile, Cedric taught Sofia and the rest of her classmates better in one class period than the Good Fairies did in like 2 whole years! And that's while he was still "evil!" (And strapped to a chair.) Like, hello?? (Maybe the real lesson is just that fairies are just notoriously bad teachers? I dunno.)

So, like, yes, Chrysta improves as a mentor. Fine. I'll give you that. But, she still treats Sofia WELL more like a peer than a mentee. And, I'm not super comfortable with that? I don't like the dialogue between them. I don't exactly know how old Chrysta is supposed to be, but she's definitely older than Sofia is. Maybe she's supposed like an older teen? I'm not sure. But, I do not like the way that they're coded as equals. There was a clear and distinctive barrier between Cedric as Mentor and Sofia as Apprentice literally from the episode in which she was called that onward. And, while Sofia is CALLED a trainee by Chrysta. That is NOT coded into their relationship in the same way it is in other relationships Sofia has in the show.

And, I. Do. Not. Like. That.

Chrysta is dismissive. She's arrogant. She's mean. She's not likeable. She actively blames Sofia for stuff that isn't her fault. I mean, dang, I wouldn't blame Cedric for getting into a fist fight with Chrysta just for putting Sofia though more than half the crap people put him through his whole life.

And, yes. These are all things that Cedric also can be and was throughout his redemption arc, but he is also shown over and over again to be equal parts protective and caring as well as being a mean and arrogant. Chrysta is just ... not protective or helpful.

Sofia ends up saving Chrysta well more than Chrysta ever saves Sofia. For being on the side of good, Chrysta is not very willing or able to care for Sofia, emotionally OR physically, and that's something that I just ... I can't stand. If they were going for mentor foils? They failed. Epically.

Chrysta as a character is cool. I just can't stand her as someone who is supposed to look out for Sofia because she doesn't. Like, the whole episode they're in Wei Ling? Chrysta is basically gaslighting Sofia about not asking for help until Sofia tells her off! UGH! I just ... I'm sorry! This is a sore spot for me. You stepped right into one of my pet peeves in writing for children.

It all boils down to that I just don't like what message it enforces. What the writers set up with Cedric is that he's crotchety but there is good in him, and when push comes to shove, he's going to stand up and protect the people he loves. He deeply cares about Sofia. He really wants to be good more than bad. He's just a little turned around about how to get the respect he deserves as human being. Sofia is helping him get there through her child-like hope and, really, just being around him. Truly, he's kind of like Carl from Up. He just needs another human being to bring life back into his life. Cedric likes mentoring Sofia, and there's a well established distance and boundary between them. In many ways, Cedric is doing a lot of his own development behind the scenes, Sofia is just there accompanying him on the journey. (Honestly, the Carl and Russell metaphor isn't a bad one for the two of them.)

With the Protectors, by contrast? From the moment Sofia appears, that boundary just isn't there. They immediately are willing to take her on as a near adult trainee. They put her with a trainer who clearly expresses contempt for her IN FRONT of them. This trainer is actively prejudiced against Sofia as a person, and this trainer treats Sofia, not as a child, but as a peer. In many ways, Sofia acts as an ACTIVE, not passive, catalyst for Chrysta's development.

And, I'm just NOT down for that. I'm not about it. It's not in my spirit.

There is a big difference between using life experiences and wisdom to help someone process what they're living through - what Cedric does for the class with "The Sorcerer's Secret" song - and what Sofia ends up helping Chrysta to do in getting her Fairy Wand. Big Difference. HUGE.

So, again, Squish and I will be having LONG chats about why it's important to evaluate these kinds of relationships. Healthy relationships and boundaries with adults. Because, the Protectors? That's NOT it.

There should be a firm line with all the adults involved in Sofia's life telling her "NOPE. Sorry. No more. Not because of anything you did, but because this never should have happened in the first place. This is not your circus. Not your monkey. Not your problem. You are done in the cupcake war. The end."

Sorry if this was rambly and disjointed. But, darn. This hit in a place for me. I do not like this arc. I like it less each time I watch it.

If Cedric hadn't saved her in 'In Cedric We Trust', Sofia would have been seriously hurt or worse by Prisma! That's proof that she has no business being a Protector at her age, let alone the ONLY Protector of the EverRealm!! What if such a thing were to happen again post-series- bested by an enemy or even just getting injured by pure accident, with nobody around to help (well, I mean, normally she'd usually have Minimus or Skye with her, but still)??

That's why I totally think Cedric should have been her magical bodyguard, like I discussed in this post.

@tookishcombeferre @bettathanyou @fantadym

[deaddove]

the plum in the iron vase on ao3—

baoxiang/third prince

rated E

iron widow au verse. no iw spoilers

ayu uses his concubine-pilot as a vehicle to have gay sex (don't do this)

baoxiang uses his brother's imminent mortality as a vehicle to have gay sex (this is fine)

[aethersea]

it is funny though how kids' shows are so so so careful about death, no one's ever killed except MAYYYYBE the big bad, all those random side characters are fine, here have a quick shot of them before we leave just so you know they really did survive that 50-foot drop into a stormy sea,

and meanwhile kids' books nearly all agree that it's not an adventure until it has a body count.

[seaofreverie]

GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!

Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"

[crowdusk]

CHAPTER 1136 THOUGHTS

[note: i read the official version when it comes out so i keep away from scan spoilers]

interesting that Who's-Who is (maybe) back considering he was the first to name and talk about Nika

Luffy so cute

I still don't like that we're getting a feast first thing in the arc...does not bode well but oh well let's go

more reinforcement of Elbaph being isolated/insular (which is weird considering Harald seemingly did so much to try and open it up...what was this dude doing)

speaking of which, I'm more and more suspicious about this dead king...I know I said he probably was just naive but hmmmmm. the fact that Jarul put him on the same level as Loki (a character that so far most giants have described as evil), the theme of misinformation and reputations being misleading, that the sword in Jarul's helmet looks like Harald's, that Jarul is definitely hiding something about Harald's death and Loki (look at his eyes in the panel where the giant is saying Jarul was there and tried to stop Loki). Harald smells fishier and fishier to me by the chapter, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was working with the Holy Knights/Elders in some way, maybe offering giants as military assets in exchange for (diplomatic) power. we also hear that he would leave Elbaph for periods of time which isn't all that suspicious by itself, but to me speaks to a disconnect between what he was doing and what his people were aware of.

so much lore!!!

interesting that a) Rodo says all giants growing up want to be the sun god and rule the world and b) there are different versions of Nika, which makes complete sense. Luffy literally does embody almost all the aspects mentioned - laughter, destruction, liberation - but it's interesting that the one thing Luffy has absolutely no interest in is ruling. he is a leader because people want to follow him, not because he wants to lead - how much is that true for Nika as a god, too?

I personally wasn't that surprised at the revelation that the world has been destroyed twice - I always thought the Void Century wasn't the earliest 'catastrophe' since the arrival of the people from the Moon was much earlier than that, and probably itself was a big cataclysm/reshaped the planet. plus, Nika probably comes from the Moon people (like the Shandorans) and so must be much older than the Void Century.

I am interested in the Harley, though (I SAID THERE WAS GOING TO BE IMPORTANT MYTHOLOGY PASSED DOWN IN ELBAPH). wondering if Robin could glean some information from it (pleaseeeeee) - but of course she's not there because Oda's smart and tricksy and annoying like that

the idea of change being both destructive and generative gets reinforced, and that it's to do with the toppling of power structures

of course, we need Luffy to reject the 'chosen one' fate, which he always does - he wouldn't be free otherwise

we kind of get told of Loki's deeds, finally. importantly, they're described as pranks and we actually see Loki laughing in the exact Nika pose Luffy takes on in gear 5. again, this idea of Loki really embodying the destructive but also comical and mischievous aspect of Nika makes me think he isn't a real antagonist to the Strawhats. plus, as we know with One Piece, the more someone is portrayed as one-dimensional by reputation (take Zoro for example), the more Oda likes to subvert those expectations. to me, Loki's pranks sound like a child acting out and messing around.

confirmation that Shanks caught Loki and that's probably what made him an Emperor, but seems like there's more to the story if Loki's calling him a coward. from later parts of the chapter it's clear Loki embraces the Elbaph warrior principles, so it doesn't seem like he'd call Shanks a coward if Shanks had beat him in a straightforward fight (but we'll see). this also makes me think, along with the last parts of the chapter, that Loki might actually take deals seriously and therefore may not have lied to Luffy (maybe he knows where Shanks is because he knows where the last road poneglyph is).

we get Zoro being pretty perceptive, and some explanation to why he was on edge. I maintain he's stressed and not quite himself post-Egghead, probably because he doesn't feel like he's as strong as he needs to be (and the crew isn't as strong as they need to be) - so he's being extra serious and careful. interestingly, Zoro is going off of Loki's reputation and as we know reputations are often false (as in his own case)

as we knew, Luffy's solution to Loki maybe tricking him is just 'well i'll beat him up if he causes any problems' - very much like his approach to Law and other pirates

i'm interested to see what Luffy Nami and Zoro will find in the castle, if they go there (any hints as to what happened with Harald?)

I thought the Knights were either going to try and kill or recruit Loki, but to be honest was leaning more towards the killing possibility so, I was wrong (although let's see what happens). I imagine it's to do with his devil fruit and general strength making him a useful asset. i'm actually leaning more towards his devil fruit being something related to prophecy/predicting the future/fate, since there was a mention of Harald prophesying his own death, and he keeps talking about fate and the future. plus, eyes are often a strong symbol of prophetic ability, visions etc and his eyes are covered. a strong giant with some kind of future-related ability? invaluable to the upper echelons of the World Government.

i did enjoy Loki calling them trash a lot, and it made me think that the Holy Knights may well recruit people from different countries across the world so that they have a network (notably since Gunko doesn't have a 'Saint' title and therefore may not have been born as/may not be a Celestial Dragon)

also very funny that the agents they sent got taken out by Rodo's weird scheme

obviously Oda giving us absolutely nothing wrt Shanks twin's face but atp we know it's not Shanks

it feels to me like the Shanks guy is her superior, since he kind of chastises her for getting ahead of herself

we see that Loki seems to follow the old warrior principles and beliefs, like Dorry and Brogy. he also isn't heartless, since he actually talks about his feelings quite openly (and not just rage but sadness too, which he also mentioned during his conversation with Shaggy). it feels like there's a strong emotional drive to his desire to 'destroy the world', not just cruelty and the enjoyment of senseless violence. i look forward to finding out where that comes from.

One Piece Chapters 1134 + 1135

SUMMARY (I simply cannot be concise so I thought I'd add summary points for anyone who doesn't want to read a whole long piece. Clown music though because even the summary is long. I can't help it.)

Also you can find previous Elbaph thoughts/predictions here.

I believe Elbaph’s current culture of peace and absolute non-violence came from Harald (who was probably an idealist) and Mother Carmel, who was – and is still – seen as a holy woman and saint by the giants. Her rhetoric was all about ‘everyone living together in peace’ in a superficial, unrealistic and one-dimensional way that hid and enabled a lot of violence. Including, of course, her literal job providing military assets to the World Government in the form of orphaned children to be made into spies and soldiers. 

Mother Carmel’s infiltration may have led to Harald developing a relationship with the World Government (which he probably wanted Elbaph to become a part of), while we know that the Five Elders are wary of giants and have always sought to co-opt their strength. This might explain how the two Holy Knights looking for Loki were able to teleport into the castle (I believe there must be physical rules/limitations to the magic circle transport, e.g. some kind of physical anchor to the place you’re going).

This arc is going to look at and explore questions around peace and violence. Peace by and for whom? For example, ‘peace’ can look like the people at the center of society living without disturbance or discomfort while those on the margins suffer and are silenced (neoliberalism). Peace as defined by the absence of overt conflict doesn’t mean there is no harm or violence – it can be repression, manufactured consent, etc. True peace cannot be imposed from the top, it must be collectively built. And so forth. Conversely, violence and conflict are sometimes necessary to protect what you care about (your treasures), as we see with the Strawhats. Creating a peaceful and knowledge-centric society doesn’t have to be at odds with warrior culture, since being willing to put your life on the line is important in some instances. What will happen if external factors threaten Elbaph’s treasures? 

Last review, I talked about how I think one of this arc’s central themes will be the juxtaposition of reality and fiction, truth and lies, stories and lived experiences. Illusions will shatter and false gods/idols will fall – I think the giants’ idolisation of Mother Carmel and Harald will end, one way or another. For the latter, I don’t necessarily think he was evil. More so that he was just one person who made mistakes and had flaws, rather than a perfect king who only ever brought wonderful changes to Elbaph. On the other hand, Loki may not be a god but he could have the powers of one, and I think the first impressions we got of him will be changed and shown to be misinformation to recast him in a more positive light. I think he had a good reason to kill his father, and that the events of Harald’s death are another false story that must be clarified. Oda loves a good character twist. (Honestly if Harald turns out evil, I’m here for it). 

I also said in my last piece that I thought there would be internal divisions, and I still think this is going to be the case. For example, we don’t know why Hajrudin initially left Elbaph – could part of it have been feeling stifled by the loss of warrior traditions? This would make sense, since he wanted to follow in Dorry and Brogy’s footsteps. However, I think we might just see more of a spectrum of positions, rather than, say, two clear factions. Nevertheless, I still think the Strawhats will have to bring a lot of people together to fight a bigger antagonist, maybe even including Loki (as the potential king??) – but they’re pretty good at that. 

Last time I wrote about 1132, I was still a little unsure about Loki’s vibe, but I didn’t think he would be the big villain. This is now pretty much confirmed for me and I think will become even clearer once we get the truth of his backstory. The more we see of him, the more we see a silly side – one that hides genuine care for people under a violent and fearsome facade. I think he’ll probably end up as an ally (even if he’s still morally ambiguous). Classic case of Luffy’s gut being right once again. I am particularly interested, though, in what this means about Loki’s proclamation that he’s the sun god who will destroy the world. Is it metaphor? Does he want to declare war on the WG? Is he still going to do some fucked up things? Unclear. But I still think divinity, myth and belief are key to Loki’s character and his juxtaposition with Luffy, and I’m interested to see exactly how.

I wrote about strength after chapter 1132, and I still think it’s going to be an important theme. What I’d like to add is that I think it will be specifically about strength in relation to pride, and warrior culture in general. Essentially, it will be about why people fight. Why people want to be strong, and why they take pride in it. The Strawhats fight for what they care about, especially people. This also includes things that carry the wills of people who have died, like the books of Ohara, or even the concept of people’s dreams. This arc will look at warrior culture, and the difference between a warrior society and an oppressive/hegemonic society which uses violence (fear and the threat of death) for extraction and control. Fundamentally, all these themes are about power in relation to collective freedom, and what it means to live a good life. There is rightful pride in being able to fight from a place of knowledge and connection, to fight for what you love and believe in (including people’s freedom) as opposed to the soulless genocide and extraction from those considered less deserving of life. 

I think the declaration of the warriors at the feast might also be a foreshadowing of exactly what the Strawhats will do in Elbaph. Understanding and protecting their ancestral pride as warriors, and helping them reconnect to it as a country. Freeing them from ignorance (revealing the truth of what really happened with Carmel, Harald, and Loki). And saving them from being destroyed (this one’s pretty self-explanatory, but I believe it will be to do with Yggdrasil).

Ok if you’re here for the full whammy, yay! SO MUCH HAPPENED IN TWO CHAPTERS. GAH. Let’s just get straight into it. 

So, in chapter 1134, we open with the strawhats meeting Saul outside the library. I don’t have much to say about this part thematically (same with the previous chapter) because I think it’s pretty straightforward. I’ll summarise: I loved it, Luffy poorly copying Jinbe was extremely funny, the reunion did actually make me cry, and I am forever crying over Robin just – being happy now. Being relaxed, content, smiling more, bonding with Bonney. My heart, my heart. 

We also see Lilith introduce herself to Saul as Vegapunk, and explain to him (and us, for the first time!) that she has brought a “perfect re-creation” clone of Vegapunk with her. She plans to settle down in Elbaph and build a new lab. Ok, cool. Honestly, I’m a little eh about a Stella comeback (because I think it’s more interesting for him to be embodied by just his satellites) but just because that’s the plan doesn’t mean it’ll go smoothly, or happen for sure. On the other hand, I’m genuinely pleased that there’s a potential to bring Kuma back, not that he was ever never actually dead. We’ve had so many hints that there’s hope for him. Plus, he’s one of the characters that truly just went through the worst of the worst over and over for the sake of liberation and his loved ones, holding onto faith throughout. I think he deserves to be a father and be happy, I don’t care if that’s cheesy. But again, no guarantee that will actually happen. 

Love and Light Only 

We then see the Walrus School where the children are educated and hear that it was founded 20 years ago by Saul, at the behest of the former king, Harald. Once again, huge huge kudos to the assistants because wow. I want to live there. What follows is Luffy’s encounter with some of said children, who turn out to be, well, absolute wimps. They don’t use ‘bad’ or potentially insulting words, and they’re not going to be setting out to sea to fight ruffians when they’re older. They’re learning in school, rather than being trained to be warriors. In fact, as their teacher Ripley tells us, being a warrior nowadays isn’t fashionable, because “insults, violence, pillaging, war” are just “not the world we live in anymore”. [Side note: the number of beautiful giant women Oda is giving us??? It's tough out here for a gay]. Absolutely nothing even close to violence or antagonism are allowed, not even petty insults, specifically by the children, which tells us this is very much the way they’re being raised and taught. It’s giving weird, cloying, toxic positivity. I was even going to say there is no war in Ba Sing Se, but I don’t think we’re dealing with brainwashing here – just insularity and idealism. 

We see this reinforced by the repeated mentions that Elbaph has very little connection to the outside world – they don’t pay attention to it, they don’t get news coos, they just mind their own business. Interestingly, we also know that any “intruders” immediately get captured (presumably to be vetted and potentially kept out if they risk disturbing the peace). I honestly can’t remember if the news coo thing has come up before in the context of non-WG countries, but I don’t think so? Anyways, that’s pretty bad. Like, if a country isn’t in the World Government (which, remember, requires paying literal tribute to the Celestial Dragons) they just don’t get information about what’s happening in the world? Wild stuff. In some ways maybe that’s protective, but in other ways, extremely dangerous. 

On the topic of language, we also immediately see ways in which these cultural rules are being broken. The way Ripley speaks is rougher, as she herself calls the kids brats and says she teaches by “negative example” (do as I say not as I do). So we’re seeing a clear generational rift in culture between what Ripley later says is the “last generation of warriors” (presumably she’s around the same age as Hajrudin, Loki, Rodo, Gerd etc) and the current children. When we meet Collun, we also immediately see that the way the other children treat him isn’t exactly kind. Despite strictly following rules around things like name-calling, they outright say they hate him. He replies in kind, but it’s not hypocritical of Collun in the way it is for the other children. He’s clearly the rough “wild child” who’s following the older warrior culture, whereas the ways in which the educational system is teaching ‘non-violence’ clearly doesn’t preclude them from excluding or being rude to a kid who’s different from them. In fact, they’re just following the rules and it’s ok to be mean to him because he’s always causing trouble and not following the rules, so he deserves it. They even basically imply why are you here. I think this kind of petty behaviour isn’t abnormal or horrendous for kids, but it does highlight to me that the kind of ‘peaceful’ culture Elbaph is aspiring to feels extremely one-dimensional, oversimplified, and somewhat superficial. Even the way Ripley talks about it feels so smoothed out and idealistic, which is strange coming from the mouth of someone who still looks and behaves like a warrior. What happened from one generation to the next?

Ripley goes on to say Harald’s policy was “don’t fight other countries – trade with them!” Sound familiar? Yeah. Those were exactly Mother Carmel’s ideas for the giants a hundred years ago, when she lived on Elbaph. This was following the dissolution of the Giant Warrior Pirates because Dorry and Brogy had started their century-long duel on Little Garden, when she appeared as a “wandering holy woman” and ‘saved’ some of their crew from execution by beseeching the marines for forgiveness and an end to violence. The giants understandably see her as a saviour and saint who performed a miracle. We only learn later that this was a stunt pulled in collaboration with the marines and the World Government, which allowed her to gain the trust of the giants and infiltrate Elbaph as a child trafficker.

Now, I’m not saying Harald was aware of Carmel’s true nature, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was inspired by/agreed with what she was saying, thus starting Elbaph’s current era of ‘peace’ with the Giant Warrior Pirates out of the way. Carmel was a perfect human link to the WG who could help Harald carry out his ideas, while her saviour position in the eyes of other giants helped him convince his people. This is important, because that means this peace was potentially built with a foundation of deceit tied to military strategy. Carmel wasn’t operating alone – she was specifically selling orphaned children to the WG to be marines, spies and agents. We see her talking to and dealing with CP0, who work directly under the Celestial Dragons and the Five Elders. Mother Carmel was a morally putrid money-hungry old hag, yes, but she was also an instrument of the WG. We also know that the WG has long been interested in harnessing and controlling the power of giants (from Carmel talking about getting giant children into the navy, like John Giant, to MADS’ and later Caesar’s gigantification experiments). In a world based on power inequality, oppression and authoritarian domination, the giants are military assets – if only they can be assimilated into the system. And who is easier to indoctrinate and control than children? 

To be clear, I think peace with a focus on education and knowledge is great! I would love for the world to be that way. And I definitely don’t think the “goal” of this arc should be to renounce those ideals or simply go back to being a completely war-based culture. Knowledge is extremely important in One Piece – that’s quite literally a central theme of the whole series. And of course, we are shown time and time again how horrific and devastating war is. However, history – why and how things come to be is crucial. Is something coming from people’s informed collective desires, or is it coming from the decision of one person/a few people? Is it something that benefits everyone? Is it growth from a place of understanding, or historical amnesia and bypassing material reality? The truth is that right now, the One Piece world isn’t past “violence, insults, pillaging, war”. It’s very much full of those things, specifically because it is rife with inequality. Elbaph so far has been sheltered from these problems, but what happens if the problems come to them? 

This is one of the central questions I believe Elbaph is going to grapple with. What is peace, and what is violence? How can true peace be created? Can violence truly be eradicated from the world? What different kinds of violence are there? 

I think the books from Ohara, the Owl Library and Yggdrasil are going to be of crucial importance to these questions. We know that Yggdrasil is extremely important to Elbaph, and we also know that accumulated collective knowledge and education – as represented by the books – are beyond precious. So, the giants have something to protect that isn’t just their own lives: they have a collective treasure. I wouldn’t be surprised if threats to these treasures are the catalyst for the giants’ reconnection to their warrior natures. Pillaging and engaging in violence just for the sake of it or for sadistic pleasure is unnecessary and cruel, but being a fighter and a warrior in order to protect what one cares about – one’s treasure – is important. All the warrior cultures we’ve seen so far in One Piece have shared this reason for their strength, from the Shandorans protecting their sacred ancestral lands and history, to Wano with Pluton, and the Minks with their poneglyph and Zunesha. 

Elbaph can be a peaceful nation that focuses on education and knowledge, and still be able to protect that knowledge if necessary through maintaining relationship to the core aspects of their warrior culture: honour, courage, strength, skill, freedom, etc. I think that’s also where pride can sit, in the space of being strong enough to do what’s needed to protect life, dreams, love, and what we care about. This is, after all, what we see time and time again in pirates like Luffy and the Strawhats – that fighting and strength are absolutely not everything, and look different for everyone, but are ultimately important to protecting what’s important to us. There is pride in embracing one’s dreams, taking action, resisting oppression and injustice, and having a strong relationship to life and death as warriors do. As an aside, I do think Usopp will be a key person who inspires this shift and re-invigorates the giants’ pride (big speech time!). 

Ideals and Idols

Two things jumped out at me in this section of the chapter. The first is that multiple people have referred to Harald as a “great king”, or something along the lines of ‘beloved by everyone’. Now, that’s not so strange. He could’ve just been a really caring or charismatic leader. But the emphasis makes me a little suspicious about what was going on behind the scenes, especially since we know what Mother Carmel was really doing, but the giants still don’t know the truth. They still see her as a holy figure and miracle worker who saved them and even cared about Linlin, a “god of disaster”. I think it’s no coincidence that the figures of Harald and Carmel have been set up as key figures of this hundred-year period who are idolised by the giants, and the illusion is going to crumble at some point. I believe the truth about Carmel being the epitome of ‘peace and love’ hypocrisy will come out, and so will whatever truth about Harald. Again, to be clear, I’m not saying I think Harald was evil or had bad intentions – it’s more likely that he was tricked and manipulated by Carmel and the WG because of his idealism. I think he probably wanted to make Elbaph part of the WG (in order to pursue his goals of peace and trade), he wanted Elbaph to open up to the world, and he wanted ‘peace’ in the sense of blanket non-violence. 

That last part we already saw expressed with terrifying clarity in a child Linlin, when she locked a bear and a wolf in a cage to stop them fighting because “fighting is bad”. I won’t get into analysing that metaphor right here (I think I’ll make a separate post) but it is so on the nose – forced peace and non-violence is itself violent and creates more violence, especially because it requires imposing your will on other beings and taking away their freedom. Peace for whom? And by whom? I believe the truth of Harald’s engagement with the WG, and either his collaboration with them or his mistakes in dealing with them will come to light, and I’m sure Loki’s reasons for killing him are related.

In this way, Harald opened Elbaph up to infiltration and engagement from the WG, who I’m sure were only waiting for an opportunity to gather intelligence and start undermining the giants’ power or bend it to their use. Like I said previously, I strongly believe that the Warland giants had ties to the Ancient Kingdom and the events of the Void Century. It would absolutely be in the WG’s interest to bring them over to their side and disconnect them from any remaining traces of that history. In fact, Mother Carmel’s House of Lambs also centered around the idea of ‘reforming’ children and helping them leave their ‘problematic’ past behind. This same idea of reform has been used to describe Elbaph itself. This treats history as something to bury and leave behind – something shameful, rather than something to acknowledge properly, learn and grow from. And of course if we know anything about One Piece at all, we know that forgetting or erasing history is literally one of the most central problems/mistakes/evils of the series. We see this further shown in the fact that Ripley is the one to bring up Nika to Luffy, and that she specifies she’s from the last generation of warriors tells us that the children might not even know about him. Why would they, if he’s a warrior god and they’re actively being taught to be anything but warriors? It gave me chills, no joke.

So the ‘peace’ in Elbaph feels especially uneasy right now, despite Ripley’s words. There are antagonists working for Garling/Imu on the island. There is what seems like a red herring of an antagonist (Loki). There is misdirection and mystery galore. So many illusions and false stories to be shattered. False idols to be toppled. Funnily enough, the one story we know is real right now is a literal living myth (Luffy’s Nika form), who is also just a guy. Ideals and idols need to be brought down to earth for real living people to connect with materially, instead of being held aloft and out of reach. What did the arc open with? Rodo pretending to be a god. We’ve also had another character claim to be a god in Loki, meanwhile we know Celestial Dragons (including the Holy Knights) pretty much believe themselves to be gods. Yeah, I’m reiterating my point that ideas of faith and divinity are going to be crucial in Elbaph. In fact, I will put it out here right now that we’re going to get more information about the Lunarians, who were also called gods (I have a whole theory about that). 

Updated Loki thoughts 

The last thing I wanted to talk about is some updated thoughts on Loki. Basically, he’s a tsundere?? Love to see it. It seems that at least part of the unhinged and violent temperament we’ve seen from him so far is a facade, since his long-term friend ‘Shaggy’ says “I’ve realized recently that those fearsome words of yours hide your kindness”. We see that Loki has a friend he’s never met or seen, but known for a long time through den den mushi conversations. He empathises with said friend’s recent traumatic experience, saying it hurts him to hear it, while overreacting when they call him kind. Typical bluster, which seems to compensate for what is a sense of compassion and understanding. Not a heartless villain, then. This of course consolidates the idea that he isn’t how he appears on the surface and how he was first introduced, and that Luffy’s instincts were right. This does make me feel much better about their ‘promise’, even if it will still probably end up causing chaos. On top of that, it reinforces my feeling that he reminds me of Law, and will probably end up as an ally to the Strawhats in some way. Maybe by the end of the arc he will even be restored as the king of Elbaph, potentially alongside Hajrudin. Speaking of which, I went back to the previous chapter where the Giant Warrior Pirates were talking about Loki and Hajrudin, and the description of Loki as “another official child” of Harald makes me think Hajrudin is probably his illegitimate half-brother. But we’ll see. 

All of this has me thinking about the other giants calling him the “shame of Elbaph”. Initially I thought this might be because his actions are considered dishonourable, and I still think that’s probably the case. But having had the developments about Elbaph’s cultural shift, I wonder if part of the dishonour is just doing any kind of violent acts in Elbaph at this point. Thinking about how the other children treated Collun, and talked about insults, is there a sense that anything ‘barbaric’ on the island is shameful? Have they maybe even been taught to be ashamed of their violent past as Warland? I wouldn’t be surprised. And if so, that makes me even more worried about how that happened and the consequences of such revisionism and reform. As I said earlier, it’s one thing to want to change and improve, to move forward collectively for everyone’s good. It’s another to completely reject the past and bury it. Shame can be an important part of reflection and acknowledgment, when deserved, but it can also prevent real growth. I worry that Harald and Carmel’s approach was just to give Elbaph a PR-style culture change that has left them with a flimsy and fragmented social structure. One that is particularly vulnerable to hegemonic influence and external danger. 

Speaking of which, my thoughts on the two strangers (I’m going to call them Holy Knights because I’m pretty sure they are) looking for Loki are that they are either here to kill him, or to influence/recruit him somehow. I’m sure they’ve had intel on the situation in Elbaph, including the fact that there is no king since Loki didn’t ascend to the throne. Given that it seems Harald wasn’t a threat to the WG, I assume they know that Loki is different somehow. We also know that the Holy Knights are essentially the military special forces unit of the Five Elders/Imu, so I don’t think they’re there for a tea party. Even if their mission involves diplomacy, I think violence and threats are probably part of the plan. Hence, persuading him of something (with force if necessary) or assassinating him. We saw Loki has a “special” bounty, probably because he killed his father and/or has a legendary devil fruit, so it makes more sense to me that the knights are there to take him out. Plus, from a narrative point of view, if Loki is a rebel compared to his father, and is likely to ally with the Strawhats, he’s probably a character that is going to be set in opposition to the World Government. 

I don’t have much to add to what everyone’s already saying about the Shanks lookalike Danks, other than I agree it’s not Shanks and is either a relative or a clone, especially with the way clones keep being brought up. They’re clearly very powerful if the bandage person is anything to go by (bandage-bandage fruit?? the way they used it to break the guy’s bones was something), and I’m hyped for more. I’ve been waiting to see the Holy Knights since we got the God Valley flashback. I’m so ready for new villains. I'm also pretty scared, since we're getting a feast at the beginning of an arc. That doesn't bode well for the ending to me...but let's enjoy the good vibes while they last.

Honestly it feels like these last two chapters just left us with more questions than answers, and knowing Oda, we might not get those answers for a while! But let’s see. The opening parts of an arc are always the most fun to me because of that.

Bonus favourite bits:

Saul asking why Vegapunk's a woman and Lilith being like "who gaf"

Robin being happy always

Chopper and Robin library time I cry

Ripley being excited to see Nika Luffy, and Luffy's response

BIG ANCIENT OWL!!!!!!!! I LOVE

Bonney, Chopper and Robin on giant books

Luffy's interaction with Collun - truly big brother

the way Stephen Paul translated the kids' speech (vylence, vishus)

the new outfits, very cute (especially love Jinbe's)

the Jarul gag????? unserious

[fvckw4d]

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

[sysig]

Cards 👏 cards 👏 cards 👏 (Patreon)

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.